All courtesy of Dolly Parton.

‘Omg what is in that crate spot, why you getting all excited?!! Holy Fucking cow it’s a mother fucking ball Spot, what you gunna do with it?!’

Then while in the park.

‘Whoah spot, yer mam’s over there but someone’s pushing you on the swing, who the fuck is it?? Whoah fucking Jesus it’s a bloody Hippo, where the fuck did he come from and why can you talk! What is this?’

‘Oh look, Spot’s got some play friends in this playground equipment, let’s flip the flap and see who they are… .Whoah yer mam’s letting you play with a fucking crocodile, call NSPCC!!’ 

Yep. Who needs drugs when you’ve got Spot the dog books?